Message from the Headmaster

Being the parent of a teenager is not easy, but I think being a teenager is just as difficult. Teenagers spend a lot of time with their peers, partying, sleeping over, and seeking approval and acceptance. This is normal for human beings. We need to feel connected, and we naturally gravitate towards our peers, evolving similar habits and our own “jargon” – you only have to listen to your children talking to one another to realise this.

Some teenage peers are good influences because they bring the best out in your children, but some teenage relationships can be destructive and negative. Many of our teenagers are still struggling to define their identities and are still coming to terms with their separation from parents and families – this results in being exposed to more intense peer influences which can be very powerful when a teenager spends very little time with adults, unfortunately a very common trend in today’s society. This can happen frequently in families where parents travel extensively, work long hours or try and “palm their children off” whenever they can – this is where the school is expected to take over the role of primary educator, which is wrong.

Parents need to impart their wisdom, life-lessons and experiences in order to shape their  teenagers lives. You need to make quality time available to your teenagers as often as possible.

The following interventions may assist in reducing the negative effects of peer influences:

• Know at all times where your child is and what they are doing.
• Get to know their friends and families – establish a healthy relationship with them. Show a genuine interest in their lives. This will go a long way towards avoiding “nasty surprises.”
• Lay down rules and be consistent in applying them. “No cellphones after 20:00” – get them to leave them in your room. Your teenagers need their sleep in order to function optimally during the school day.
• Encourage your teen to talk openly and honestly with you from a young age. Your child must not learn the habit of hiding his emotional problems from you.
• Attempt to reach “common ground” with your teen. Telling your child always to say “no” to peer pressure every time he is with his peers is not going to have any effect.

I want to encourage parents to establish and develop a secure attachment to their children. This will provide a framework within which to discuss strategies they will require when they need them.

GOOD LUCK!